


Fading into you

by Sammy_uelly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Agender Akaashi Keiji, Agender Character, Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Eating Disorders, Gay Male Character, Healing, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Hinata Shouyou Has ADHD, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, I'm Sorry, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Nonbinary Character, Slow Burn, Supportive Kuroo Tetsurou, Therapy, Trans Kozume Kenma, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:40:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28344807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammy_uelly/pseuds/Sammy_uelly
Summary: Trigger warning! Please read Tags!Summary will be updated once I actually know how to write a decent one
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Fading into you

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: Mental health issues/ mental illness, especially Anorexia nervosa!
> 
> Kenma is anorexic in this, so the focus will be on the eating disorder and healing for a while, as well as the panic attacks that come with it
> 
> This is based on my own experience with this disorder! It is accurate for my experience! Everyone experiences and deals with mental illness differently, we all have different reactions to treatment, whether it's voluntarily or forced. We all react differently to the treatment measures, we all went to different facilities. However, the most important part is trying to get better.

Yumi Kozume (Preferred Kenma)  
Birthday: October 16th 1995  
Sex: Female (Identities as male, will be addressed as such)  
Age: 15  
Height: 169cm  
Diagnosis from previous treatment with Dr. PsyD ------ : Anorexia nervosa, social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder, clinical depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, 

January 3rd 2011  
CW: 40.3kg(BMI 14) GW: 58kg

New year, new me? The holidays were just over and the new year had barely started when Kenma was dropped off at the facility he'd have to call home for the next few weeks, maybe even months. They wouldn't let him go until they thought he looked like he was better. Being introduced to all those nurses, general caretakers and doctors already ruined his entire year. Kenma couldn't even bring himself to say a single word to any of those people throughout the entire tour through the facility, while his mother was busy filling out the last few papers. 

The building was surprising quiet. The only thing he heard besides the nurse's voice were a few keyboard clacking at the different stations. There were no other patients walking around, no horror asylum-like screaming and not even any kind of music or other sounds coming from radios or TVs, even though they were present. There were several TVs hanging on the walls, seemingly only for decoration purposes. The almost vintage-looking radio at the reception wasn't turned on either. So far, the tour showed Kenma that the facility looked and smelled like a hospital with very few things that made it look like people were having a good time. Unless the magazines in the entrance area were actually entertaining to anyone.

"And here, we have the more interesting area. You will spend a lot of time here, so we hope it's more comfortable than the visitor rooms," the nurse chirped in a high voice. She was nice, but her voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard to Kenma's ears. However, she was right. The area looked more comfortable. The walls weren't just plain white, parts of them were covered in handprints and paintings, which he assumed were by previous patients. 

The first room Kenma was shown was something like a living room. It had a couch and a TV, though there was no remote lying around freely, a old-fashioned DVD player, some books, a radio, CDs and DVDs as well as various board and card games locked in a cabinet with small glass windows. A few blankets and pillows were stacked neatly on a pile between the couch and some bean bags. The windows were huge and let a lot of sunbeams shine their way through the room, almost giving off a sense of freedom if it weren't for those locks on the handles.

The cabinets and drawers in the group kitchen were locked for the most part. The only things that seemed to be accessable without a key were plastic cups and bottles of soda and water. Tea and coffee could only be made by nurses, since hot water and mugs were apparently considered dangerous. That only made Kenma wonder what kinds of people he'd have to live alongside with.

A slight scent of artificial cherries hit him when the door to the room, where the group therapy sessions would be held, was opened. The first thing he noticed, along with the smell, were a few candles on the windowsill. The person in charge for the groups wellbeing already seemed like they'd play a motherly role. The room was nicely decorated, not too much but also not too little. Bean bags were piled up next to a stack of chairs, the tables all had different colored cloths draped over them and the walls were decorated with a few posters. All of that topped with plastic plants.

The final destination of Kenma's little tour was his bedroom. It wasnt anything special. Two white pillows and a white blanket neatly placed on a white mattress, which was squeezed into the metal frame of the bed. Next to that was a small nightstand with a drawer that could be locked, but would be regularly checked. "The closet will be also be checked everyday. I'm sorry to tell you that your underwear will also be checked for prohibited items. The list of those is quite long," the nurse, Rita, if Kenma remember correctly, started to explain. "Sharp objects, objects that could possibly sharpen blunt objects, illegal substances, alcohol, cigarettes and things like that. You'll get the list along with the rules later." Kenma only nodded slightly. "Let's say bye-bye to your mom so you can start unpacking, okay?" She sounded so annoyingly cheery as she turned on the heel to lead Kenma back to the sterile white visitor/entrance area. 

Kenma's mom was already waiting, a few documents peaking out of the small handbag. She looked so tired, it made Kenma feel guilty. He knew it was his fault she barely slept. She worked two jobs and had to make sure her son was doing okay... Did she fail? Of course not. Kenma only blamed himself, not her. It took a few seconds for her to open her mouth. "Yu- Kenma," she started quietly, looking back into her son's dull eyes. "I know you don't want this, but give it a try, okay? You'll make new friends here and get healthy." That optimism. That false optimism. Kenma clenched his jaw as he listened to his mother ramble. "I promise I'll visit you regularly, okay? I won't abandon you here." She will. "I'm proud of you for trying this. You can do this." He couldn't. "I love you." She didn't. The voice in Kenma's head kept getting louder and louder, until all he heard was peeping noise once his mother stopped talking. "I'll head to work now... I'll see you soon." Her finally words sounded just like always. Stressed. In a hurry. However, she had enough time to give Kenma a soft hug and a kiss on the cheek. And just like that... She was out the door. Leaving Kenma to his own devices. 

"Well," Rita clapped her hands together, making Kenma flinch. "I'll let you unpack! The others should all come back from their outside time in a bit!" Oh god. Right. He almost forgot about that. He'd surely take his sweet time to unpack so he wouldn't have to meet them as soon as they'd planned.

Kenma let out a heavy sigh when he finally got to his assigned room. His suitcase sat on his bed, laughing at him. It was fairly big since the minimum time of his stay was a month. His belongings had already been checked, but put back in a manner that almost made it look like no one touched a thing. His shirts were folded, but the order in which he put them in was different. He slowly started putting everything into the closet. His sketchbook found a comfortable place in the nightstand's drawer along with his, now noticeably lighter, pencil case. The console he played with during the ride had been given to his mother, his phone was with all of his other confiscated belongings. There was nothing he could do but sketch, stare at the ceiling and avoid people as best as he possibly could.

Kenma's new life at the facility already sucked.


End file.
